The Alienated Commander
by Mallik
Summary: Orphaned as an infant and raised by an Asari Spectre, Shepard will choose to become a shield against evil when the galaxy takes what she loves most. Journey with the Commander as she hunts the mockery to her mother's organization, finds love where she least expects it, and discovers a threat to the very cosmos she's sworn to protect.


Mass Effect: The Alienated Commander

* * *

Hello hello ladies and gentlemen! So I'm just sitting at home, bored out of my mind before finally saying "F*ck it! Let's play through Mass Effect again!" While I'm playing though, I always have the same lamentations: Why aren't all biotics as epic as Charge or Flare? Where's my Tali/Shepard/Garrus love triangle? What's with that freaking ending?! But as I'm playing through ME1, I'm thinking about all these different backstories you can choose from, and an awesome thought pops into my head: What if Shepard had a backstory where she was raised by the Asari? So now I'm sitting here, bored out of mind saying "F*ck it! Let's write about it!"

NOTE: This is currently more of a prompt than anything else. I likely won't be touching this story in the foreseeable future as I'm working on other stories. Regardless I just needed to get this awesome idea out of my head and into your guys' faces.

So here you go, my fantasized ME canon without any further adieu…

* * *

Chapter 1 - Preservice History & Psychological Profile

* * *

Aster was appalled. She looked out across the young, practically infant, human colony on the planet Mindoir, and felt a myriad of emotions looking at the burning buildings: pity, despair, regret, and a profound hate for the individuals responsible.

She opened up the commlink in her omnitool for the third time and sent for an all channels broadcast. "I repeat, this is Aster of the Citadel Council Special Tactics and Reconnaissance calling for any Alliance or Council race military support in the vicinity to please respond. The human settlement on Mindoir is being raided by a band of slaver-"

"Hey, I'm picking up comm static over here."

Aster switched the omnitool off and eyed the two approaching batarians predatorily. Having engaged her Tactical Cloak and having long since mastered the art of silence, she was surprised to hear one say "I heard something."

The asari spectre listened intently and heard faint metallic echoes coming from the exterior vent of one of the housing modules. Apparently the slavers heard it too. "There!" He pointed a crooked finger at the grate of the vent which had been kicked off. A human woman with flowing red hair ran from where she'd emerged. She seemed to be carrying a bundle of blankets, much to Aster's confusion.

"Stop!" The vile man didn't even wait for the woman to react. He aimed his rifle at her and opened fire. Aster watched as the batarian's horrible aim caused him to miss several shots, but eventually he hit his mark. A thermal round punched through the woman's stomach and she fell.

The batarian who shot the human laughed until his partner hit him with the butt of his gun. "Idiot! We don't get paid for corpses!"

The murderer merely shrugged and turned. Aster was about reduce him to paste when a screech came from the body of the woman, or more accurately from underneath her. The two slavers eyed each other before walking to the woman's body and flipping it. Her face was pale, her eyes were dead, and blood trickled from her mouth, but in her arms, wrapped in a blood stained blanket was a human infant.

"Gah! These things are ugly! What do you think? Is it worth anything?"

"No, too young to hang on to. Not worth the trouble. Just shoot it."

The trigger-happy batarian gave a pointed tooth grin before leveling his gun at the human child. Suddenly, blue energy enveloped his arms. He began turning his gun towards the other slaver, arms shaking to resist whatever it was controlling them.

"What are you doing?!"

"I don't know-" The pop of the gun silenced him. Blood from his companion washed over his face. Before the horror of what happened could take him, he was lifted in the air by the force still being exerted on his arms.

"I wonder," He struggled to look down at the asari who spoke. "How much are you worth?" With a glare, she threw her arms out in opposite directions, effectively ripping the batarian slaver in two. "Certainly less than she was worth…" Aster said sadly eyeing the dead human.

The infant had not stopped crying throughout the interaction. Aster wrapped her arms gingerly around the child, lifting it from the dead grasp of the woman. She bounced the toddler in her arms, hushing her calmly. Slowly the child settled down, yawning before placing a thumb in its mouth and falling asleep.

Her heart felt as though it skipped several beats. In all her centuries, Aster had seen few things as beautiful as the child in her arms. She looked into the lifeless eyes of the child's mother one last time. Although they did not move, they seemed to be asking the asari, pleading with her to protect the child.

A tear fell from Aster's eye, the first in decades. She nodded to the dead woman and placed her finger over the woman's eyelids, closing them. "Find peace in the embrace of the Goddess."

She glanced at the jumpsuit the human was wearing. Although blood veiled the first name, the woman's and her child's last name were clearly visible. "Shepard?" The baby in her arms stifled a yawn, bringing a smile to Aster's lips. "Shepard it is then."

She stood and began the short trek to the edge of the colony where she'd landed her ship, the child fast asleep in her arms.

* * *

Aster ran her hand through the girl's hair, an act she'd discovered to be addictive once it had grown long enough. "Shepard, baby, what are you drawing?"

The girl's rosy cheeks deepened a shade. "Us…" Aster watched the child scrawl crude figures in the sketch program on her data pad. She'd drawn the Thessian skyline in purple, a yellow sun, and a park with green trees. Shepard drew herself in white and began drawing Aster in blue but stopped. "Momma?" She asked in the tone Aster knew meant one of those silly question was coming.

"Yes?" She'd been planting several small kisses into the girl's scalp.

"Why am I different?"

Aster pursed her lips. "Well what do you mean?" She liked to help Shepard find the answers to questions on her own.

"Well…" The girl thought for a moment. "I know I am an a-li-en," she pronounced the word slowly. "But why can't I be the same as you?"

"That's just who you were born as, baby." Aster swept hair from her daughter's eyes. "There's no changing it."

Shepard thought for a moment before asking tentatively "Is it bad to be an alien?"

"Some people think so, but they're wrong. The truth is there are no bad aliens, only bad people."

"Am I a bad people?" Shepard bit her lip.

Aster laughed lightly. "You mean are you a bad person?" She corrected. "Nope. And you know why?" Shepard shook her head. "It's because you're the sweetest, most lovable, most adorable girl in the whole wide galaxy." Aster kissed Shepard's cheek in between every other word, causing the girl to giggle uncontrollably.

"Okay." She said satisfied before returning to her drawing.

* * *

"It's getting harder and harder to slip in and out of the Terminus unnoticed. Thug bands are becoming better equipped, more organized, and greedier." Aster concluded. "Keeping up my end of our agreement is becoming very difficult."

She winked at Councilor Tevos. "I make the peace. You keep it." The more elegantly dressed asari repeated their 'deal'. Such a childish notion, even if it was made a century ago. She went over the numbers in Aster's report once more, her eyes growing almost alarmed.

"Not a happy prognosis, I know, but we needn't be so worried." Aster assured her. "The Alliance does a considerable job maintaining its borders."

Councilor Tevos sighed deeply. "Yes but they're not as conceded as I'd like. They tend to bite off more than they can chew when it comes to their colonies."

"I've noticed." Aster said sadly.

Tevos gave her favorite spectre and oldest friend an understanding look. "They overextend and ask for help when they can't protect themselves, but they don't recognize we're hardly in any better a position to help. And don't even get me started on the heel-dragging from the turians who participated in their First Contact War." She huffed and rung her hands at the thought.

Aster smiled broadly. "I'm glad I could convince you to come out to Thessia for my debriefing, Tevos. You're much too tense on the Citadel; you don't act like your normal self."

The Councilor laughed and waved a hand dismissively. "I've been meaning to make the trip home for a while now. I do miss it when I'm gone." She smiled and placed a hand on Aster's shoulder. "Besides I understand you can only be away for so long."

"In more ways than one." Aster clenched a fist over her heart, as though it were straining. "It's odd, but I find I can scarcely breathe without hearing from her for more than a couple days. I'm sorry to say it effects my spectre duties so heavily."

Tevos laughed again. "We've more than enough spectres to meet our needs. Besides, it's refreshing to see you this way. I never would've imagined you as a doting mother."

She blushed. "Nor I. I'm experiencing so many strange emotions. I can never tell if it's normal for a mother to feel these things or if it's because-" A scrape on the wall of the hallway adjacent to the living space they were sitting in drew Aster's attention. She turned just in time to see a wisp of red hair darting behind the corner. "Or because she is so impetuous." Aster said, changing what she was going to say with irritation. "Little one! Come on out!"

Shepard inched her way out from her hiding spot until only her head was poking out. Tevos stifled a laugh and fanned the tears from her eyes. Aster crossed her arms. "I thought I told you it was bedtime."

Shepard tentatively stepped out and was nervously digging her heels into the floor. She seemed to be holding something in her hand. Aster immediately knew what it was.

She sighed begrudgingly. "In any case, that concludes my report Councilor. If it pleases you, we have something of a local matter to discuss as well."

With her interest piqued, the councilor nodded. Aster smiled to Shepard who exuberantly leaped in front of them. "Good evening, madam Councilor. My name is Shepard." She bowed deeply.

"A pleasure and an honor to meet you child. I've heard much of you." Tevos said genuinely.

Shepard's childish eyes sparkled. "Really?" She then coughed and regained her businesslike posture. "I mean yes, the honor is mine." The older women both giggled. "I come before you with a request today. May I present Garossa Park!" Shepard tapped the omnidrive in her hands. A digital hologram of a children's park overlaid an orbital image of the nearby clearing the asari women knew was nearby. Tevos and Aster shared another smile and settled in.

…

"To recap," Shepard began her closing argument. "The historical additions referencing the first era Amazoness Garossa, who laid the foundations of this (the largest city on Thessia), would stimulate a sense of asari pride, as well as garner interest from would be historians and intellectuals. Furthermore, the increase in residential traffic would benefit nearby markets, increasing economic gains by as much as 12% over the next decade. Plus it would have one of those awesome new low gravity pools." Shepard spun on her heel at that last prospect. She tapped the omnidrive once more, making the hologram vanish.

Tevos sat stunned at the presentation she'd just been witness to. There were ambassadors on the citadel who were less articulate than the girl had been. She looked to Aster who had simply been smiling at the other asari. "Wow." She exclaimed before realizing what she'd. She stood, embarrassed, and clasped her hands together. "I mean, that was incredible. Did you really do all this by yourself?"

Shepard smiled shyly. "Well, Momma is the one who taught me about Lady Garossa."

Tevos suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. Of course Aster would know all about the greatest warriors of asari history; she considered herself among them, as did many. "And the market research?"

"Well, I looked into local businesses and asari spending tendencies. I crossed referenced that with basic socioeconomic policy and ran VI simulations based on increased population traffic in certain areas. This was the highest, closest gain."

Tevos smiled knowingly. "Closest?"

Shepard blushed, having been caught. "Well, I wanted us to be able to walk to it…"

"You make an excellent argument child, I think I will present this to the city commission." Tevos straightened her posture but was nearly thrown off balance by what happened next.

"Really?!" Both Shepard and Aster exclaimed.

Tevos giggled lightly. "I've been asked by the Matriarchy to take more interest in the city commission as of late. This is as good if not better than any proposal I've seen. So yes, if you'd like, I will present it."

Shepard bounded up and down in a circle several time. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" She handed the omnidrive to Tevos before full on hugging the asari Councilor. "This means-" She stifled a yawn. "-so much to me."

Shepard felt arms looping around her waist, pulling her away from the Councilor. Aster then scooped her up in her arms and carried her down the hall to her room, Shepard putting up no resistance, as tired as she was. "You did so good, I'm so proud of you." She whispered to her daughter as she tucked her in and kissed her on the cheek. Aster glanced once more at the smiling child as she fell asleep before turning off the light and walking back into the living room.

Tevos sat on the couch, eyeing the omnidrive while deep in thought. "I take it you're reconsidering my proposal?" Aster walked to the wine rack in the kitchen, grabbed a vintage stock & two glasses, and returned to the couch. She filled them both half way.

"I shouldn't." Tevos said as she finished pouring.

Aster leaned back into the couch and drank deeply. "They're both for me."

Tevos's mouth twitched in amusement and she grabbed the remaining glass. "It'll be dangerous." She took a sip. "Not just for her or the people around her, but the asari government as well. If the Alliance doesn't approve-"

"I'm her mother." Aster stated pointedly.

"They might see it less as charity and more as…experimentation." Tevos finished. "Are you sure about this?"

Aster sighed sadly, eying the dark liquid in her glass and using her thumb to trace its rim. "You have no idea what it's like raising a child who's different from everyone else, Tevos. I can see it in her eyes; sadness. She blames herself when her differences cause her to fail in life. My heart aches to tell her she is fine the way she is, but she'll have none of it." She took a large swig from the glass in her hand and refilled it.

Tevos eyed her the whole time, shaking her head as she finished. "Why did you take her Aster? Why not just give her to the Alliance? Why put her through all this?"

"Because she begged me with her eyes," Aster sank further into the sofa and pinched her sinuses, trying to erase the image of that woman that had burned itself into her mind. "The woman with fiery hair." Aster looked to Tevos, tears threatening to spill. "And because I love her."

The Councilor thought for a moment before smiling and taking Aster's hands into her own. "I'll make the arrangements if you're sure, but it has to be soon. The implants tend to cause issues in post-pubescent humans as I understand."

"Yes." Aster was resolute. "I just know that if she can connect to our people in the most rudimentary way, it would mean the world to her. With biotics, she can. It also goes without saying she'd be able to participate in the full curriculum of our schools as well."

Tevos was liking the idea more and more. "Do you really think she'll be able to bridge the gap between humanity and the rest of the galaxy?"

Aster looked her friend and superior in the eye. "I think she will change the galaxy." She then sputtered and gave a drunken laugh.

The Councilor shook her head, finished her glass, and stood. "Alright. I'd best return to the Citadel before anyone takes notice. Who knows what trouble they've stirred without me?" She said only half-jokingly. "I'll be sure to forward a copy of this to the city commission as well." Tevos waved the omnidrive in the air.

"Oh, yes! Thank you so much, again." Aster felt lightheaded, both from the wine and the Councilor's approval. "If she were an asari, I'm sure that would've made her century." They both laughed at that before making it all the way to the door.

Perhaps it was the wine, or maybe it was the praise Tevos had given her daughter, but before Aster could think twice, she found herself placing her lips on her superior's. After a moment of surprise, followed by another moment of reciprocation, Tevos gently pulled away. "Aster, we made a promise." She whispered softly.

Aster traced her lips lightly from their first kiss in what had been decades. She recalled their agreement of course, to abstain from each other for as long as Tevos was a Council member and Aster was a spectre. "I'm sorry Tevos." Aster was genuinely apologetic for letting her emotions get the better of her. "It's just all this flattery and talk of being a mother. It's got me-"

"Horny?" Tevos grinned skeptically.

Aster looked into her eyes, seriously. "Sentimental." She corrected, stroking her cheek for good measure.

Tevos's mouth formed an 'O' and she thought long & hard for a while before sighing. Any self-control she had over her feelings for Aster melted before this unprecedented maternal persona she'd adopted. "I suppose that is an altruistic enough of a reason." She smiled.

Aster giggled and they kissed again. "I promise to be as discreet as possible."

"No you won't." Tevos stated sternly. "None of that supply closet nonsense from when we were younger. I expect to be treated with the utmost affection."

Aster stifled a laugh. "Yes, madam Councilor." Her thoughts were more focused and concerned with the third member of their bond-circle. "However…if Aria finds out-"

"She'll just have to deal with it. She's the one who made herself an outlaw." Tevos said bitterly. Aster dutifully said nothing, not wanting to upset Tevos further. However, she couldn't help but think of a series of raids made on Council supply lines sixty years ago, Aria's retaliation at being cut out of their relationship last time.

"Okay. Perhaps we could catch a show and get something to eat the next time I'm off duty on the Citadel."

Tevos's eyes sparkled. "That sounds lovely. And please do bring little Shepard. I'd very much like to see what she makes of the Citadel."

Aster could only imagine the wonder her daughter would experience seeing the heart of the intergalactic community. They exchanged a prolonged hug, as well as a final chaste kiss. "I'll contact you when I have news about the operation."

Aster released her from the embrace. "Thank you." She watched the Councilor walk all the way to her sky car and lingered until its taillights faded into the Thessian night sky.

Aster ignored the wine glasses and the lights, too tired to do anything accept fall into bed. After a moment of internal debate, she opted for skipping past the door to her own bedroom and slipped once more into Shepard's. She shivered as she lifted the covers and slipped into the smallish bed, the coolness of the apartment suite getting to her. She took the human's hands into her own and caressed the blue skin of her cheek against the pale skin of Shepard's, marveling at its smoothness. Aster lightly melded into the mind of her daughter as she'd done many times before, transmitting her adoration and delighting in the childish dreams she received in turn.

* * *

A disgruntled huff distracted Aster from the mission brief the council had forwarded to her. Shepard sat cross legged on the floor of the living room, several data pads spread out before her on the coffee table. She exited out to the title screen of a holobook, the source of her disdain, and tossed it on top of the pile. Aster caught a Glimpse of the title, Earth: the Culture and History of Humanity. "Problems?" She asked, uncrossing her smooth legs.

Shepard laid back onto the floor and tousled the red hair that ran its length down her back. It splayed out from her head like a red giant star. "I don't like them."

Aster snorted. "Yeah, I never could sit still and read books either."

"No! I love books…" Shepard trailed off as Aster snickered, knowing full well what she was actually talking about. "I don't like humans…" she said in an almost-whisper.

Aster rose from her seat and stretched her arms up, her tank top lifting and exposing her toned, blue stomach. She laid on her side next Shepard and began twirling a lock of her hair with a finger. "What's not to like?" She asked with a peck to the cheek.

Shepard just sighed. "They're greedy, and violent, and bigoted. And I don't think we should trust them."

Aster chuckled. "Wow, you sounded like a Turian just now."

Shepard huffed again. "I wish you'd take this more seriously…"

The asari rolled her eyes. "Now you sound like your aunt Tevos, but I think you're taking this too seriously." Her daughter gave her a questioning look. "You're basing your opinion off of a history book. An archive like that isn't going to tell you about what the humans really value."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Aster put a finger to her chin and thought for a moment. "From what I can tell, humans are extremely individualistic. That of course has its ups and downs, but I'd say the benefits outnumber the issues. It means humans are expressive and artistic. It means they feel more strongly about everything, especially love." She stroked Shepard's cheek. "It also means they're more adaptable than most other species. They have so many cultures in and of themselves, it's just incredible." Aster clasped her hands together. "Oh! And their music!"

Shepard raised an eyebrow at that, and Aster gestured for her to wait a moment. She left the living room and slipped into the storage closet, bringing back out a long, bulky looking object covered by a tarp. Aster waved Shepard over to the couch, and once they were both seated, she placed the object so it sat on both their laps. She smiled before pulling the tarp away.

Shepard gasped. The long rectangular object was split along the middle. The top half peppered with holes like those on a speaker. The bottom was split several dozen more times, creating several white rectangles, with shorter black raised rectangles interspersed seemingly haphazardly in between them. It was sleek and beautiful. "What is it?" Shepard asked with wonder.

Aster's only response was to grin, reach over to the side of the object Shepard had in her lap, and press down on one of the slender white rectangles on the far right end of the contraption. Her finger pressed it down like a button and a high pitched 'ding' rang until she lifted her finger. Shepard laughed and tentatively tried another; it rang with a different sound, slightly lower in pitch.

"It's called a keyboard." Aster watched Shepard as she continued to play with it. She tried several more. Then she tried all of them at the same time. The 'keys' grew in pitch as they went along from left to right. "It's based on an Earth instrument, the piano. The only real difference is the sound made with the keyboard is synthesized digitally."

Shepard began stringing notes together, humming to the same pitch she played. Aster got the feeling she wasn't really listening but continued anyway. "Pianos are very large, and they're expensive unfortunately. I picked this up at a human colony for only a couple hundred credits on my last mission. The vendor even gave me a quick lesson too."

Shepard was so engaged with her playing that she startled when Aster gently forced her to look at her. "Symphonies composed with this instrument have brought about an ocean of tears on any number of worlds."

Shepard furrowed her brow, not quite understanding. "Okay?"

"What I mean to say is that every race in the galaxy has a history, but that history doesn't have to define them. They are instead defined by individuals and the material avatars of their race that touch the hearts and minds of everyone, no matter what they are or what world they came from." She covered Shepard's hand with her own on the keyboard. "This instrument is just a microcosm of what the human race has to offer. Do you understand?"

Shepard thought long and hard before smiling and nodding yes. Aster returned her smile and spoke again. "Alright, you want to help me?" She gestured back to the keyboard in their lap.

"We can both play? Shepard's eyes went wide. Aster only smiled, to which her daughter nodded emphatically.

"Okay, first I'll show you how to play your part, then we'll play together." She tapped a series of keys, altogether forming a catchy little jig. Shepard copied the keys she'd pressed, albeit slower and it took a couple tries. Eventually she'd mastered her set, upon which time her mother joined in and played along with her. By the time the duet had played the old Earth song "Heart and Soul" perfectly, several hours had passed.

Aster looked outside and flushed from embarrassment at losing track of time the way she did. She lifted the keyboard off their laps and placed it on the coffee table. "I'll get started on dinner." She muttered, placing a kiss into the girl's scalp.

She graced her way to the kitchen and began pulling out assorted pots and pans. She half expected to hear Shepard continue playing. Aster was instead surprised and pleased when she looked back and saw that she was giving the holobook on Earth another shot, reading in earnest.

* * *

Aster marched furiously through the locker lined hallway. Many classroom doors were open, spilling light from the setting Thessian sun in her path.

Now that she was close, Aster was second guessing bringing her weapons into the school; they sat on her back in stasis, unable to do any harm. Still it felt wrong to bring guns into a place of learning and innocence. Then again, she didn't have a lot of time to waste. She was doubly lucky in that it was only an hour and a half FTL jump back to Thessia and that she even had a comm link to receive the message, enraging as that message was.

Aster slowed her walking dash as she entered the atrium. She lightly stepped to and kneeled in the center of the crater in the middle of the room. She eyed the cracks lining the pillars that held up the vaulted ceiling. Some sort of trophy/display case had shattered glass beneath it. The air was still charged with biotic energy. She was amazed at the display of power; amazed but irked.

She dreaded the report she would have to file to Rear Admiral Steven Hackett. The Alliance was to be notified of any and every incident of uncontrolled biotic behavior. As the liaison for many joint-alien programs as well as being an upstanding human being, Hackett was always reasonable and willing to listen in his responses when dealing with such incidents. But there had never been an incident like this before.

Aster's eyes narrowed and she doubled her pace to the administration office. She passed the now empty infirmary just before reaching it. She'd received an update mid-transit that all the injured had been sent home; the worst of any of it were a couple mild concussions and a sprained ankle.

Aster passed several cubicles in administrations before coming to the doors of the principle office. It was flanked by two asari commandos in full combat armor, not unlike Aster's. Though they were unarmed, they still proved quite a deadly security. She could hear an authoritative voice on the other side of the door.

As she approached, one of the guards held up a hand in a halting fashion. "Hold. No one is allowed in right now-"

"You see this symbol here kid?" Aster spoke loud enough that the conversation on the other side of the door died. She tapped the emblem on the shoulder of her combat armor. "This means I'm a spectre. Move." The asari commandos shared a surprised look before parting.

Aster all but punched the door console. It hissed as it opened. She barely registered the asari principle behind the desk. "Out." She said simply. She didn't need to be told twice. Aster threw her omnitool hand towards the door console. The asari principle yelped as the door almost closed on her. The console turned red, locking. Aster crossed her arms and leaned on the desk eyeing the girl in the corner.

Judging from her demeanor, she'd guessed Shepard hadn't moved in over an hour. Her eyes were downcast and looked bored. Her appearance hadn't changed since Aster saw her last a week before, save for the dried blood under her nose. Her hair was cut short and blown straight back, held together in sections by bands to mimic asari scalp-crests. Her green eyes were heavy with eyeshadow and eyeliner. Matte covered the freckles Aster so adored.

"Well?" Aster demanded.

"Well what?"

"You wanna tell me why it looks like someone detonated a fusion cell out there?" Shepard's response was to look from her shoes to the door. "Oh, no! You aren't going anywhere until you tell me what happened!"

Shepard brought her feet up onto the chair and hid her face behind her knees. Aster weighed whether forcing a meld would lose her the moral high ground, but opted for it anyway. Shepard felt a tingle in her mind and erected her mental barriers. Aster winced as she was shoved out of her daughter's mind but said nothing; neither did Shepard. She began pacing back and forth.

"Did you lose control?" The girl's silence was all the answer she needed. Aster bit back her comment on lack of restraint, at least until she heard the reason. "Was it those bullies? The one's who pick on you?"

"They're stupid." Shepard's words were muffled by her knees. "I'm smarter than them and they're jealous. I'm not going to get angry for being better than they are."

Aster stopped and threw out her hands. "Then why? What made you lose control? Were you stressing out over a test?"

"No."

"Did you leave a book at home?"

"No!"

"Then what? What could possibly-"

Aster was shocked as Shepard bolted upright, tears streaming from her eyes. "They were talking about you!"

"Me?" Aster lost her parental poise in confusion. "What about me?"

"That you're a traitor to asari! That you just keep me around as a pet! That you're…you're not my real mother!" Shepard cracked under the last insult. With that out, Shepard slumped back into the chair, sobbing heavily at the potential validity of their cruelty. Mascara streamed down her cheeks in jagged streams.

Aster's heart wrenched at hearing those words, at seeing Shepard so distraught. The asari spectre knelt to take the girl's hands into her own. She sought to meld again, gently this time, almost in a nuzzling fashion. Shepard felt it in her mind again, and though she visually waved her off, she gave no mental resistance.

Once in her mind, Aster was hit with the full force of Shepard's despair. Tears now fell freely from her eyes too. "Baby, please look at me." Shepard struggled to see through her tears, as Aster placed a hand on both her ruined made up cheeks. "No matter the differences, no matter the distance, no matter the lifetime," her voice broke as she spoke, "I will always be your mother."

As Shepard saw the truth of her words in her mother's eyes and felt it in her mind, her sobs were redoubled in effort, as were Asters.

She embraced her daughter, pulling her into her lap on the floor.

It took maybe half an hour for the both of them to calm down. The sun had completely gone, leaving the lights of the city as the only source of illumination outside. When the door console chimed, changing from red to green, the commandos and principle startled from their respective lounging positions. The door opened and the spectre walked the girl out under her arm.

The mother-daughter oddity approached the waiting asari. Once close enough, Shepard let go of her mother and bowed in sincere apology. "Principle Deadree, I'm really sorry about what happened in the atrium."

The woman was surprised but took her students hands into her own. "It's quite alright, dear. It will be attended to, don't you worry. In the future, I'd like you to please come straight to me if you're being alienated in any way."

Shepard still seemed apologetic but nodded gratefully. The principle pulled back and turned to the commandos, voicing their dismissal. "You know kid," One said smirking. "You'd make one hell of a commando." Her companion stifled a laugh in agreement.

Shepard was about to voice her enthusiasm at the prospect when her mother pulled her back into an embrace, tucking a stray hair behind her child's ear. "My daughter will never fight a day in her life, if I have any say in it."

Shepard sighed in defeat while the commandos apologized to the spectre profusely. Aster and the young woman walked out of the school together hand in hand, and even though Shepard complained that it was embarrassing, she loved every minute of it.

* * *

Councilor Tevos's eyes were raw. No doubt bloodshot too. There were files to report, arrangements to be made. She didn't have the time to be delivering terrible news face-to-face.

For about the millionth time in recent years, she felt the overwhelming need to take whatever part of her brain that was 'the Councilor' and shoot it repeatedly. No doubt Aster's influence, or maybe Aria's.

Aria. Would she tell her? Of course she would. Aria deserved to know, even if she was some sort of slutty pirate hooker queen in the Terminus and gave Tevos a migraine every time her illegal shenanigans leaked into council space. She still deserved to know that Aster…

A thud sounded as the sky car landed on the pad. "Thank you," She said, her voice hoarse. "Please wait here until I return." Her attendant nodded as she stepped out of the vehicle.

Wind whipped at her dress and worms seemed to be gnawing at her stomach as she approached the entrance of the apartment. This was wrong. In recent years, the only feelings she'd experienced while approaching Aster's home were joyous and excited ones. There was no turning back now though. She'd reached the entrance and proceeded to enter the security code. The door slid open with a sinister hiss.

Tevos stepped into the foyer, a chime indicating her presence. After that it was eerily quiet for a moment, compared to the whistling wind on the other side of the door. The Councilor took in her surroundings. They were largely the same as the last time she had visited. Aster had never been one for redecorating. The living space was clean, as was the kitchen. The human instrumental keyboard belonging to Tevos's favorite musical duet sat on the edge of the coffee table. The low sun on Thessia's horizon spilled orange light through the open curtains of the windows. Perhaps no one was home-

"Mom?" Called a surprised voice from down the hall. There was also a tinge of excitement to her voice.

"It's-" Tevos started but was interrupted.

"Mom! I got in! I can't believe they accepted me, but they did!" Shepard came leaping out into the living area, reading off a hand-written letter. A rare thing in this day and age, reserved for special occasions. "'Regardless of your unique circumstances, your exemplary performance and achievements have warranted an invitation to the University of Thessia'! 'Attached, you will find your class schedule including the highly coveted Xenodiplomacy'! 'We look forward to your participation in our program this upcoming autumn'!" She spun around hugging the paper to her chest. "Oh! I still can't believe I did it. I don't know who was more shocked from completing two decades worth of prerequisite classes in only half the time, you or me-"

She finally looked up. Tevos watched Shepard's eyes go from surprised to embarrassed to excited again. It shouldn't be today. She shouldn't have to hear this on such an important day, on what should be the most joyous day of her life thus far. But it had to be today. More tears fell from Tevos's eyes.

Shepard stepped forward. "Oh, Aunt Tevos. I thought you were…" She saw the crying. Tevos had a hand over her mouth and she shuddered as streams fell from her eyes. Why was she crying? Shepard had never seen her cry, not once in her entire life. What could possibly-

And in that moment, Shepard felt her heart stop. It was like a jolt had shocked its way through her body, from her feet to her head, making her feel numb. Her breathing faltered and the note slipped from her fingers. She began inching her way backwards, as though distancing herself from Tevos would invalidate the news she'd come to bring. "No. No, no." Shepard shook her head. Her legs felt like jelly and she crumpled to the floor. Her cheeks wet.

Tevos rushed to her and she found she could breathe again, but it didn't feel like she was getting any air. Shepard breathed faster to compensate but her body's only response was to convulse, hyperventilating. Tevos held her and Shepard heard a moan from far away, only vaguely recognizing it as her own. Blue energy began curling off of her as the wailing increased in frequency and volume. Finally Shepard screamed; loudly and horrendously and with all the force she could muster.

The vase on the kitchen counter exploded. The overhanging ceiling lights cracked and rained down shards. The glass framed pictures of her childhood doodles and memories with her mother broke. The coffee table was obliterated, sending the keyboard she and Aster had spent so many hours playing with to the floor. The window overlooking the beautiful Thessian skyline shattered and a gust of wind rushed into the apartment. Biotic fire blazed around them.

Shepard slumped against Tevos, feeling feint. She whispered comforting words directly into her ear, but Shepard couldn't hear them over the ringing. Blood gushed from Shepard's nose, eyes, and ears, staining the shoulder of Tevos's gown and smearing on her blue cheek. She blacked out then and there.

* * *

The Citadel was just as beautiful as Shepard remembered, the presidium in particular. The last time she was there, her mother had told her how the blue sky and white clouds of the artificial atmosphere resembled Earth's atmosphere more closely than any other council or embassy home world. Shepard seemed perplexed that it didn't more closely resemble the purple sky and pink clouds of Thessia. "Only the keepers could tell us why, and they aren't talking." Aster had said chuckling.

The memory was bittersweet in her mouth, as were most memories nowadays, though Shepard tried not to let show on her face in front of this many people. As it was, Shepard sat on a large stage next to several official looking aliens. Tevos stood in front of her at a podium, dictating to a crowd of about a thousand what made Aster Leahlia such a valuable person, friend, and spectre. Shepard wasn't listening though; she already knew. She also tried to avoid the thirty foot holographic projection of her mother to her right. It stung her eyes to look at it.

She tried to focus on anything else other than the ceremony. Crowd watching on the Citadel was always interesting, but seeing all these solemn face, or what she assumed were solemn faces just reminded her where she was. Although, there was one group that stood out, which was ironic given that they were clearly trying to avoid drawing attention to themselves. They clung to the shadows, and moved around a lot, like standing still in one spot was dangerous for them. It was hard to keep track of them with just her eyes, but Shepard made out the insignia etched on their various uniforms. The same symbol was on her mother's armor. Spectres.

The ceremony came to a close with Aster Leahlia's name being lazer-etched onto the plaque commemorating spectres past, both retired and those who had fallen in the line of duty. The salarian councilor, an amphibian with cracked, light-green skin, offered Shepard a fold-open frame. In it on one side would be her mother's name, birth date, date of death, the phrase 'Special Tactics and Reconnaissance', and the symbol of the spectres. On the other side would be a picture of her mother, one knee raised, one hand holding an assault rifle, with her staring defiantly into the sunlight. She had seen picture before the ceremony had started and broke down crying, so instead of seeing it again, she simply held it close to her chest.

After the ceremony, a long line of people formed in front of her, all eager to say the same thing. She shook hands, claws, or tentacles; so many she lost count. Her arm began to hurt. She was still recovering from the injuries of her biotic meltdown the night she learned of her mother's death.

They all offered condolences and thanked her for her mother's service. Some even regaled her with instances of how she had impacted them or their home world. Shepard simply nodded every time, maintaining a blank face. She had to admit, there was quite the procession. That shouldn't be surprising though. She knew her mother was a hero to many. A pair of humans, who introduced themselves as Ambassador Anita Goyle and her attendant Donnel Udina, laid on the praise especially thick. They were no doubt trying to make an impression on a young, up and coming diplomat. But today, Shepard wasn't a diplomat. She was thankful when there were no more diplomats to talk to her.

The majority of seats in the ceremonial hall were now empty. Shepard was just waiting for Councilor Tevos to finish speaking to Vice Admiral Steven Hackett. Then she would…what? Go home? Attend university on Thessia? Play diplomat for a galaxy that would ruthlessly kill a mother just for trying to right its wrongs?

She got her answer when she felt a presence next to her. "Turian, spectre." She said in a level tone without looking over.

"Impressive. Seems there's nothing sneaking by you. Name's Nihlus."

"Can I help you? Or are you here with another tale of how valiant my mother was?" Shepard was slightly surprised by the bluntness she'd just let slip by her diplomatic nature. Then again, she'd had enough of ceremonial niceties for one day.

Nihlus's mandibles twitched in humor. "Actually, I'm not even sure why they sent me over."

Shepard eyed the spectres on the far wall. They all stood or leaned casually watching her and Nihlus talk; the deadliest group of people in the galaxy. She should feel nervous. Instead, Shepard felt at ease. These people were like her mother: survivors, enforcers, protectors. She looked to Nihlus for the first time, taking in his features. "Because you're the mushiest of the bunch?" She jibed.

Nihlus laughed openly this time. "Hardly." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Okay, look, here goes. All of us who are here today came because we worked with Aster at some point over the last two decades."

Shepard's brow furrowed. "Not before?" She knew her mother had been a spectre for well over a hundred years.

Nihlus shook his head. "Some of us worked with her before, but we're here today because of who she was after she became your mother."

Shepard's eyes widened. "My…mother?"

He nodded. "Look kid, spectres aren't trained, they're chosen. But they're made of different stuff. How good of a spectre you are usually depends on your reasons for being one. Some of do it out of loyalty or a sense of duty, some of us just like the challenge. But your mom? She would tell anyone who cared enough to ask that you were her reason, and let me tell you kid, she was a damn fine spectre."

Shepard averted her gaze from the turian. It fell to the frame in her lap which, against her better judgement, she opened. There she was, her mom. The look in her eyes was multilayered. Such strength, such conviction. They were they eyes of someone with something to fight for, and that alone made her a particularly powerful force. Splots of Shepard's tears landed on the image.

Nihlus shifted uncomfortably. "I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Whatever you plan on doing with your life, just make sure you have a damn good reason for doing it." Nihlus paused, then nodded, mentally patting himself on the back for a particularly insightful piece of advice. He tapped the human's cane that leaned beside her seat in finality. "Alright, kid. See you around." He stood and started towards the exit. Shepard looked up and watched him go. Her eyes flitted to the other spectres as well. Each one of them met her gaze before nodding, blinking, or saluting to her and departed.

 _Whatever you do…_

 _A damn good reason…_

Tevos approached Shepard and was tempted to stroke her hair, but thought better of it when she saw the faraway look on the girl's face. She turned to watch the last of the spectres disappear from sight. "I saw you met Nihlus." Tevos noted. She liked the man well enough. He was appointed to the spectres just a few years ago, still relatively new. "Might I ask what he said?"

Shepard's mind was working hard. What did she want? What were her reasons for wanting it? Her mother's reason was for her. Aster wanted her to be able to live in a galaxy of peace. Where she could live and be free to follow her dreams.

 _My daughter will never fight a day in her life, if I have any say in it…_

Instead, Aster had died. Their plans were ruined. How could Shepard, in good conscience, go on to become the peacemaker her mother wanted without someone like Aster to protect that peace? How was she supposed to make the galaxy a better place?

A uniform of navy blue trimmed with gold caught Shepard's eye.

 _You know kid, you'd make one hell of a commando…_

 _Spectres aren't trained, they're chosen…_

Tevos placed a hand on Shepard's, trying to shake her from whatever daydream held her. "Shepard? It's time to-"

"Vice admiral Hackett!" Shepard stood so fast, she stumbled from her injuries. Tevos managed to catch her, but as soon as she was upright, she pulled from the Councilor's steadying embrace. The Vice Admiral heard his name, as well as the commotion. Seeing the child struggle walking, he decided to meet her halfway, returning to the stage. Shepard limped along, leaning heavily on her cane. "Vice admiral Hackett…"

"Yes ma'am?" They'd met only once, when Shepard was a child and underwent the operation to install her biotic implants. Now she was a grown woman. An imposing one, the admiral decided, despite her injuries.

"I have a favor to ask of you," Shepard descended the steps of the stage, wincing on every one. "Of the Alliance. Will you hear me out?"

Hackett noted the way the asari Councilor tried to help her down the steps, only Shepard took the next step every time before she could steady her. It made him smile, that even a human raised by the asari still seemed to retain that good ol' fashioned human stubbornness. But there was something about the way she was asking for this favor. 'Of the Alliance' she had said. The spectre Aster's reports had mentioned her diplomatic aspirations, and thus he was cautious. "That depends. Is it a big decision?"

For as long as she could remember, ever since her plans of becoming an ambassador were put in motion, Shepard felt like she could see the future. She knew exactly where she would be in ten years, twenty years, half a century. She could see herself as an old woman; all white hair, gnarled hands, and leathery skin. She saw herself sitting in retirement, reminiscing about all the deals she'd negotiated, the conflicts she'd avoided, the peace she'd brokered. And right by her side, holding her wrinkled, shriveled hand would be her mother. Aster was supposed to be with her throughout her entire life. Without her, Shepard could no longer see the future. She had no idea what it might hold, and if that had to change, then so did she.

Was it a big decision? Shepard laughed. "Yes, for me it is."

* * *

Shepard was overwhelmingly relieved. She was afraid the keyboard wouldn't fit in the footlocker. Incredibly, it sunk in with centimeters to spare. She'd placed it on top of her clothes, or 'civvies' as they would be called now, and scanned her room for anything else to take. She of course grabbed the spectre framed picture of her mother, as well as her precious omnidrive and its backup that she had specially made.

The drives held a cornucopia of information, archives upon archives of vids and holobooks detailing xenobiology, xenoculture, xenogovernments. It was a codex that likely surpassed that of the Citadel's. All the information was handpicked by Shepard from years of study, and it was huge. The amount of storage space they held could support thousands of VI's. And that made it extremely expensive. Even before Shepard donated Aster's entire estate to Council relief efforts around the galaxy, she wouldn't have had enough money to purchase them.

Of course, now she could probably afford to purchase them again, twice over.

Shepard blushed, embarrassed at the amount of money she was getting from the royalties of her vid. She'd filmed herself, edited it herself, and brokered the deal herself with no outside help whatsoever. Shepard was still unsure what her future held, but she knew she would have a harder time of it if she was labeled an adult entertainer.

Her messages with the Fornax subscription company had been done on various public extranet terminals using a multi-encrypted messaging VI. Once she had sent a small teaser, they were practically begging to come to an arrangement with her. They offered a two and a half percent return of all purchases, which she negotiated up to five after sending them another couple seconds of the vid. They asked for her name, and in a flustered spur of the moment, she gave them one.

The Azura Edge video had now been seen by more than three billion people across the galaxy. Three billion people watching her naked silhouette dance and writhe. It was the most asari stripper-est name she could think of. Shepard put her hands to her cheeks in an effort to cool them and looked up to her reflection in the vanity adjacent to her bed. The idea for all this started when she cut her hair to meet Alliance regulations. She opted for the hairstyle she wore as a teenager, in her efforts to look more asari. When her need for money arose, she decided to do what every asari did in their maiden years. She was already joining a military group. Why not show a little skin as well?

Rather than degrade herself by being filmed losing her virginity to some stranger, she opted for something more tantalizing, more salacious, more forbidden. Fornax had called her the most teasing piece of eye candy the asari had ever produced. You see, Shepard had them utterly and completely convinced she was an asari. Her hairstyle in the vid, the lack of direct light on her body, along with her nom de plume and the use of biotics all helped to build her persona of being a member of the race of blue beauties.

Shepard shook her head and stood, pressing the button to close her footlocker. What was done was done. She had her treasured omnidrives and had done everything she could to protect her secret. At least she hoped she had.

Shepard looked around her childhood room one last time. There were many memories here, many of them framed on the walls. Doodles, art pieces, awards. Shepard decided to leave them, taking only the pictures of her and her mother. All the other things were memories Aster had cherished, more than she did at least. Shepard stood at the door, a sense of sorrow filling her from head to toe, and tapped the console, closing the door to her room and that part of her life forever.

Shepard extended the handle on her footlocker and tilted it back onto its wheels, carting it into the living room. Tevos quickly hid the handkerchief she'd been drying her eyes with and glared at the footlocker as Shepard dragged it to the front door. Wind blew through the living room, crinkling the temporary plastic covering the window that looked out on Thessia.

Shepard went over to the sink in the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water. She moved toward the counter to retrieve the data pad and reread the apartment's lease dissolution. Suddenly, arms wrapped around her stomach and a face pressed into the back of her neck.

"Please…" Tevos said in almost a whisper, breath tickling and fanning out over Shepard's skin. "Don't go. You worked so hard to be accepted into the University. Complete the program there and come with me to the Citadel. You can still be the ambassador your mother dreamed you'd be, and I'd be there as well… You don't have to be alone, child."

Shepard set her glass down. For a moment, she hesitated. For so long, Shepard had wanted that position of power. She wanted the responsibility to help people through delegation and negotiation. And the way Tevos stroked her hair and held her close, just like her mother did… But Aster was gone. Shepard pulled away from her embrace. "I have to, Tevos."

The asari's hands balled into fists. "But why?!" Tevos was mad now. She recalled the time Aster had called the child impetuous. At the time she agreed, but now Shepard was simply maddening. "Why are you throwing away everything you and your mother have worked for?!"

"Because," Shepard whispered sadly. "Without someone like her out there, many things are at risk."

Tevos shook her head in disbelief. "The safety of the galaxy did not rest on Aster's shoulders alone!"

"Maybe not, but I cannot be the woman she wanted without someone like her out there. Someone to extend my reach. Someone to make the right choices and do the deeds that must be done."

"There are still many suited-"

"Tell me truly, Tevos," Shepard interrupted, her gaze watching drops of water fall from the kitchen sink. "Who would've taken that baby on Mindoir, if not Aster?" Her eyes met with the Councilor's again to accentuate her point. "Who?"

Tevos bit her lip and looked downcast. She understood what Shepard was saying. She understood more than most, perhaps second only to Shepard, how irreplaceable Aster was. Over the past couple decades, Aster had performed her duties as a spectre remarkably, exemplifying courage and resolve and compassion in all her endeavors. She truly put the good of the galaxy before herself. Aster was a paragon of a woman, someone for all to behold and look up to. Without her, the galaxy was left to be a much more sinister place. But still… "Why you though?"

Shepard watched the anger fade from Tevos's face and a tear roll down her cheek. "Because nobody knew her like we knew her. We're the only ones who can carry on her ideals. Nobody else knows. Nobody else cares. So I promise you Tevos," Shepard held the asari's hands close to her chest. "I'll become someone you depend on. You make peace in the galaxy and I'll keep that peace, just like my mother before me."

Tevos sobbed, torn between her feelings, and wrapped her arms around Shepard. The human simply held her gently, caressing her as she took one final look around her childhood home.

* * *

The transport shuddered, the inertia dampeners kicking in as it approached the end of its descent. Shepard had goosebumps and the hair stood up on her neck, but she wasn't sure why.

Vice Admiral Steven Hackett sat beside Shepard with his eyes closed, speaking only when the girl had a question. There were many, but none in the past few minutes. He finally cracked an eye and looked over to her. "Nervous?"

Shepard jolted, startled by Hackett's interjection. "Er, no… No, sir!" Shepard sat as straight as she could.

Hackett merely smiled. "Save it for your CO cadet, and try to relax."

Shepard breathed out steadily. The transport's engines shook the cabin, and a thud indicated their landing. The Vice Admiral put on his hat and stood, straightening his uniform. Shepard stood as well and waited behind him as the shuttle door opened. Hackett stepped out of the shuttle and returned the salutes of the three servicemen who began unloading the cargo from the shuttle. Hackett dropped his hand back to his side and turned to look at his recruit.

Shepard's mouth hung open. Her eyes flitted about in every direction. It was beautiful. The blue sky, the green trees, the sunlight reflecting off the sky scrapers in the city. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. No picture or vid could even come close to capturing the awe Earth inspired in her. Shepard was so distracted she nearly stumbled stepping off the transport. Luckily the Vice Admiral caught her. "Everything alright?" He asked knowingly.

It took Shepard an extra moment to respond. "I-I wasn't expecting it be so…incredible." Finally Shepard was brought back to reality when one of the servicemen unloaded a familiar footlocker. "Excuse me! Please do be careful with that-" The marine promptly dropped it in the cargo area and moved on to the next crate. Shepard growled in irritation. "You humans do move fast, don't you?"

Hackett chuckled hearing her comment he scanned the horizon. "Yes, we do. You'd better get used to it as well. You ship out for Basic in twelve hours."

Shepard looked to him, confused. "Ship out?"

"You'll be training at our base on Titan." He clarified.

"Then why did we shuttle to Earth?"

"Because I'm needed on Earth. You on the other hand will be going to Titan." He said simply. Shepard crossed her arms expectantly, to which the Vice Admiral relented. "Fine, I brought you here to see Earth."

"'See' it?"

He met her gaze with a serious look, accentuated by the scar across his face. "You're in the Alliance now Shepard. You should see with your own eyes what it is we're fighting to protect."

He went back to observing their surroundings. "Yes, sir." Shepard replied before joining him, jumping onto and sitting on the crate Hackett leaned against. A flock of birds wove in between nearby towering structures. Their majestic and swirling architecture was unique, a testament to the will of the human race, of Shepard's race. There was a field of what Shepard recognized as sunflowers, from one of her holobooks, just outside the military complex.

Hackett sat with Shepard for almost an hour, just basking the sun that moved across the sky. Eventually, a subordinate came to get him. Shepard shook his hand and thanked him once more for everything he'd done for her. She enjoyed the sights & sounds of Earth until the sun dipped below the edge of the horizon and waited for her next transport to arrive.

* * *

Shepard tried to keep from shaking, or rather from making any noise whatsoever. Fighting through the urge to huddle up into a ball and just die, she opened up her comm frequency again. "Major Rezkin?" She whispered hurriedly. "Major Rezkin, come in! Corporal Toombs? Anyone?!"

She poked her head out from the wreckage of the M-31 Sandtiger, scanning the surroundings. "This is Lieutenant Shepard, calling for anyone in the vicinity to respond." Shepard waited, but no response came. "Dammit platoon, sound off!" She shouted angrily.

A shriek was heard in the distance, causing Shepard to retreat back into the wreckage of the overturned tank. The ground shook and Shepard held her breath. The ground continued to vibrate with oscillating vigor for a few minutes before subsiding entirely again. Shepard exhaled deeply and was surprised by how much it sounded like a whimper.

Tentatively, she looked out again. She noticed something she hadn't before. It was a severed arm, and clear as day on the shoulder was a tattoo of just four letters: SPQR. Sergeant O'Donald. The tattoo referenced an ancient Earth civilization, the Romans. O'Donald was an intellectual with admiration for the archaic civilization. He was an oddity in the military, much like Shepard. They had bonded much over that fact. A few nights ago, he'd even been lightly flirting with her. Seeing his severed arm made her vomit.

Once she'd managed to stop, Shepard shivered and felt feint. Her fists clenched at the thought. If Aster were here, she wouldn't just roll over and die. She'd fight to find a way out of this mess, to get home to her baby. And if she was going to die, then she was going to go down swinging. Shepard bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, steeling her resolve.

Glancing around inside the Sandtiger, Shepard spotted the reserve fusion cell, an idea already formulating in her head. She unclasped the straps holding the canister securely, and dragged it out of the tank. Once she and the canister were clear of the tank, she paused and tilted her head up, listening. She heard nothing, yet.

She left the canister where it was and walked out into the open terrain, arguably the stupidest place for her to be. She looked around to take in the entirety of the carnage. The housing modules of the colony were either half-sunken or completely buried in the dirt. Fires burned from the effort Shepard's platoon made. Rovers and other ground vehicles were either overturned or smashed to pieces. She could spot patches of ground stained with the blood of the civilians and her friends.

Shepard breathed in the stench of destruction & death and let it back out in angry roar. She fired her issued Avenger assault rifle in the air for good measure. She heard the shriek again and could spot puffs of dust in the distance being thrown up from the ground churning beneath.

"Come on you stupid worm," She muttered. "Come and take me too!"

The monster was three hundred meters out. Two hundred. One hundred. Then it dove further down. Blue energy flicked off Shepard's body, and she could no longer make out where it had gone.

"COME ON!"

The ground beneath her cracked as the thresher maw broke the surface of the ground. Shepard shouted with exertion, throwing her arms out in front of her and willing her body forward. The biotic charge only put her some twenty meters from where she'd been standing, but she needed to be close enough to grab the fusion cell. The thresher maw now stood as column of pure chaos, the bringer of death. It observed Shepard and began preparing to spit its disgusting, toxic secretions at her, but Shepard was faster.

Shepard lassoed biotic energy around the fusion cell and whipped it into the air. The canister smashed into the face of the worm, but was largely ineffective. That was before Shepard took aim. She'd tracked the trajectory of her toss, and with a single shot from her rifle, she punctured the hull of the canister and ignited its content. The blast knocked Shepard off balance and she fell. Glancing back, she quickly scrambled to get up and dove out of the way just in time for the carcass of the thresher maw to land where she'd been a moment before.

Loose dirt rained down on her as Shepard watched the sky. Her muscles ached and she did not move. Tears rolled down the side of her head in grievance for her friends. The blast from the fusion cell made her ears ring, so it took her a minute for her to realize her commlink was chiming. Painfully, Shepard sat up and tuned in to the correct frequency.

"-repeat, this is Captain Anderson of the SSV Hastings. We're responding to your distress signal. Can anyone hear me? Over."

Shepard swallowed, hard, and lifted her wrist to her mouth. "This is Lieutenant Shepard, responding." Her voice was hoarse and didn't sound like hers at all.

"Copy that LT; honing in on your frequency. We'll be there soon. How many of you are left?" Shepard's eyes stung. She glanced around once more without much hope. "Shepard?"

Her eyes landed on the carcass of the thresher maw and wondered just how many this one had gotten. "None," She said finally, groaning as lifted herself off the ground. "It's just me. I'll clear a landing zone on the south side of the colony. Copy?"

The captain on the other end of the comm was quiet for a moment. "Copy that, soldier. We'll have you out of there in no time."

Shepard drudged to her anointed LZ and waited for the shuttle to arrive.

* * *

Elysium. The alpine paradise. The ideal shore leave. A perfect place to recover from Akuze.

Shepard laughed audibly at that last thought as she cleaned her weapon. Well, not her weapon. Her standard issue assault rifle had been locked in the eastern armory when it was bombed during the pirate band's first push. This gun, a custom Vindicator with an auto-bolt mechanism and hair-trigger, she'd taken from the hands of some arms she'd ripped off of a batarian raider. Literally, she'd ripped his arms from his body with biotics after watching him gun down a human father shielding his children.

The gun was probably already clean enough. She kept cleaning it though, to keep herself angry. Every time her fingers brushed over the tally marks on the side of the gun, the indication of lives taken by the gun's previous owner, her resolve was renewed. She was determined to repel this assault of greedy, bloodthirsty savages.

Shepard leaned back tiredly. She hated relying on the civilians for help. Not that they were inept in any capacity (rather, she'd learned quickly the inhabitants of Elysium were fighting harder than anyone else to repel these invaders from their home), but because she hated seeing those who never asked for it having to fight. There were just so few military personnel, nearly all of them on shore leave like her.

Once the attack had started, they quickly learned that, incredibly, Major Shepard was the highest ranking military official, and all looked to her for guidance. It was the most responsibility she'd handled to date. Not that command was anything new to her, but when she'd called for volunteers and received hundreds of hands in response? She was humbled and vowed to do everything in her power to lead them to victorious survival.

It had been thirty-six hours since the Skyllian Blitz, as it was already being called, had begun. Shepard's eyes drooped and had dark circles under them. Her hands and arms were numb from the near constant jolt of her new gun firing. Her second in command, a concerned young first lieutenant named Connor Graham, had begged her to get a few hours of rest. The enemy lines had regrouped and seemed to be hesitating for another push. Deciding it would be better for the civilians and her troops to not see her faint from exhaustion, Shepard nodded wearily.

At first, the distant gunfire and explosions made it impossible to sleep. Thus began her meticulous routine of disassembling, cleaning, and reassembling her firearm. As time went on though, the shuddering of the makeshift cot she lay on from distant blasts began to feel softer, gentler. Not unlike the way her mother hummed while she cradled Shepard against her chest. The lullabies she felt rather than heard from Aster never failed to put her to sleep. That memory alone began cutting the last few threads barring Shepard from unconsciousness. She felt her eyes getting heavier, her breath shallower…

An explosion much closer and much louder rocked the cot violently. Shepard shot up and loaded up her gun. Her omnitool began blinking, to which she tapped it, opening the communications line. "Status report." She demanded.

First lieutenant Graham's came in hurried, staticky fragments. "Enemy wave-! -surrounding perimeter-! -holding the choke points! Something must've happened to fire them up again."

Shepard had run outside the lone building in the back of the colony she posted up in, just in time to see an Alliance fighter swoop in overhead in a reconnaissance maneuver. She looked in the direction it had flown in from and could just barely make out several Alliance dreadnoughts in deep orbit through the atmosphere. She quickly fiddled with her omnitool, strengthening its outgoing signal to broadcast on all frequencies.

"Alright Elysium, cavalry has arrived. This fight's already been won, but it'll take time for the Alliance to break through the pirate blockade around the planet and send in reinforcements. Their only chance is to take the colony and hold us hostage, but that's not going to happen. Pick your targets, time your shots, and hold your ground. Show this scum that it's not us who should be afraid, it's them. Shepard out."

Shepard heard batarian voices from the direction of that close explosion. Her first lieutenant's voice came in clear on her personal channel. "Major! That blast in the back of the colony! Scouts report a heavy squadron is heading your way, but they're hitting us on all fronts… I don't know if…I don't think we can send anyone to back you up."

Sheppard cocked the bolt back on her Vindicator and examined the thermal clip once more. "Hold positions no matter what. If they overrun the landing zone, there'll be no reinforcements."

"But if they flank us from your end-"

"No one's getting past me."

"Major, I don't think-"

"Hold positions, Lieutenant. That's an order."

There was a pause before an exasperated "Yes Ma'am… Good luck Ma'am."

Shepard didn't have to walk far, just a couple blocks, to find the smoking hole in exterior wall. She peaked from behind her cover. Already a dozen raiders had breached and were setting up a sloppy firing line. Luckily, there happened to be little cover around the breach. The mercs were just standing in the open. Easy prey.

Shepard got three shots off into the heads of three different mercs before their squad leader pointed her out. Most of the squad was still reeling from watching three guys go down in the blink of an eye. The squad leader and another mercenary both leveled their guns at Shepard as she rushed forward. Just before they fired, her feet shot forward and she fell into a slide. The raiders fired, missing the majority of their shots. What shots would have hit her instead were deflected by the barrier Shepard maintained with one hand. With the other hand, Shepard suspended the squad leader in the air. Shepard rolled into the cover she'd moved for while the leader kicked and struggled against the blue energy that held him aloft. Shepard peaked from behind her cover, calculating the trajectory, and threw another ball of concentrated biotic force at the suspended raider. Shepard peaked the cover again to admire her handiwork. The firing line flinched as the ball of energy flew right past them and directly into their aloft squad leader.

The biotic detonation that followed cleared the area of smoke from the earlier explosion. The squad leader was instantaneously turned to paste. His subordinates were not so lucky. Many were squashed into the ground, theirs bones breaking free of their skin. Others were thrown afar into pillars, into the wall they'd breached, even as high as the metal sides of the third-story housing modules before falling back down. None got up again.

With the smoke cleared, Shepard could make out another squad on the other side of the hole in the wall. She ducked back into cover and readied an incineration blast on her omnitool. She laughed in a slightly crazed fashion for no particular reason and wondered for about the millionth time in her life if her mother ever had to put up with shit like this. She ran out of cover, guns blazing.

* * *

Shepard was very uncomfortable. That in and of itself was ironic, given that over the past year she'd been put in several situations where her life was at risk. But those all felt like simple things now. She would've preferred another 'do or die' situation over this, anytime.

Standing at attention, Shepard gazed out across the sea of fellow soldiers below her. Their ranks increased in seniority the closer they got to the stage, but they all looked to her with similar looks of awe or pride. Like she was something other than just another soldier.

They called her The Ghost of Akuze, the Lion of Elysium, and (quietly among the infantry of the third fleet) the Subjugator of Torfan. Shepard hated that last one. She didn't regret volunteering for the retaliatory campaign against the pirates, but Torfan was a cock-up, plain and simple. Taking a bunch of revenge-hungry grunts to a known civilian target was just asking for trouble.

Commander Darough, a petty and prideful man who represented everything she hated about humanity, led the assault on the small batarian moon. Shepard's squad had been scouting an unmapped section of tunnels ahead of the main unit. Her squad nearly turned back before stumbling upon an encampment of civilian women and children. When Shepard radioed the situation in, Commander Darough ordered her unit to open fire on all aliens. Luckily, Shepard's unit was loyal to her and her alone. Still, when the Commander's unit showed up, she'd never come closer to killing an Alliance soldier, as loosely as Darough fit the definition.

Admiral Steven Hackett was welcomed on to the stage with a generous amount of applause. He went on to give an embarrassing soliloquy of the unassuming girl he'd met a little more than a decade prior. A wave of laughter rolled through the crowd as Hackett recalled the first time a young Shepard performed a biotic pull on an Alliance nurse.

The standoff on Torfan persisted until the third fleet's admiral heard the comm chatter and threatened to court martial everyone involved. When the operation was over, and all the information came to light, the casualties were staggering on both sides. Alliance brass caught wind of the political blowback the op and the war crimes committed on Torfan would have on humanity's image. As a result, Commander Darough's actions were denounced and he was honorably discharged.

A round of applause went about as Admiral Hackett invited Shepard to say a few words. Even more Shouts of approval were heard as she stood and approached the podium.

Even though she had managed to save what civilians she could, Shepard was furious that Darough would get off without any repercussions whatsoever. But she knew the brass was right. She was raised as a diplomat after all. Furthermore, she'd seen the desire for revenge in those soldiers' eyes on Elysium. Going on public record about Torfan would only serve to perpetuate the cycle of retaliation.

The next time Shepard spoke with Admiral Hackett, she told him her account of everything. Unofficially he agreed with her, but officially his hands were tied. A glimmer in his eyes though told Shepard he had something to tell her. When she inquired as to what he needed to say, his only response was, "You'll see." The next thing she knew, they were prepping her for this ridiculous ceremony.

As Shepard met Hackett at the podium, he pinned a medal to the chest of her dress blues; the Star of Terra. The crowd went absolutely nuts.

After a full minute of applause, Hackett raised his hand to speak again, and the crowd settled. He saluted Shepard and was the first to address her by what she would unknowingly be called for a very long time. "Commander."

Shepard returned the salute and shared his smile despite the thoughts of Torfan that were plaguing her mind. "Thank you, Admiral." He gestured towards the crowd and she turned about face, stepping forward to address her fellow soldiers.

"Take a look to your left." She watched the crowd do so. "Now look to your right." Again, the crowd obeyed glancing at one another before looking back to Shepard, waiting to see where this was going. "Each and every one of you are equals. Yes we have ranks and yes we have orders from the higher ups, but all of you are only as strong as your brothers and sisters who bear arms around you. I may be the one up on this stage, but today is just as much a celebration of the Alliance's strength as that of an individual's, because it was the combined effort of the Alliance, the combined effort of each and every one of you, that allowed me and any who call Elysium home to be here today. So it is with a clear head and full heart that I say this." Shepard scanned the crowd mirroring the pride they looked to her with. "Thank you."

Shepard raised her hand to her forehead, and in unison one thousand assorted soldiers and officers saluted her right back. She couldn't help the grin that broke on her face as she raised a fist high in the air. "For the Alliance!" And that did it. The crowd broke into unconfined applause and military caps were thrown into the air.

Hackett clasped her on the back and chuckled "Well done," although she couldn't hear it over the crowd. The applause lessened after a few minutes and Shepard spent the next half hour shaking hands and receiving congratulations from the officers. She was tired, arguably more so than after a firefight, by the time it was all over. At least she thought it was over.

"Commander Shepard." Admiral Hackett called out to her once again. An all too familiar face was walking beside him this time. "Perhaps you don't remember. This is-"

"Captain Anderson." Shepard smiled and gave a hearty chuckle as the man who saved her life shook her hand. "Good to see you again sir."

"Wasn't certain I'd find the opportunity, Commander, especially after all you've been through." Shepard had never met another soldier with Anderson's level of mastery when it came to dry military humor. He laughed along with her for a moment before adding, "Of course, that's why I'm here."

"Sir?" Shepard asked.

"Commander, Captain Anderson here has put forward a sponsorship for you to enter the N7 Special Ops program." Hackett states with a knowing smile. It only grew as he watched the woman's jaw drop.

"You're joking. N7? Me?" Shepard managed to choke out.

Anderson stepped up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Shepard, listen. The Alliance needs soldiers like you; it needs leaders like you. Looking over the reports of your endeavors, I'm not confident anyone else could've emerged victorious the way you did." He met her eyes to accentuate his point. "You deserve this, girl."

Shepard nodded in understanding, before pulling away to mull it over. She had spent the past couple years entrenched in the front lines as just a regular old soldier. That kind of mindset was hard to break. And yet here she stood, Star of Terra on her chest and an offer to undergo the highly coveted N7 training. All too suddenly, that nostalgic feeling from her childhood returned: the desire for more responsibility. She wanted more opportunities to protect the galaxy, just like…

Anderson and Hackett stood a ways away, watching the girl pace back and forth while thinking the offer over. Suddenly, she stopped and opened her omnitool. Shepard brought up a picture of her as a child in the arms of an asari Hackett recognized as her mother. Anderson looked to the Admiral questioningly, only to find his demeanor was now solemn.

Shepard placed her free hand over that of her childhood self's in the picture to imitate stroking Aster's cheek. Her mother's smile set her heart at ease. "What would you do, mom?" She asked in a whisper.

Shepard closed the omnitool and approached the superior officers again. "Admiral Hackett, Captain Anderson," She met both their eyes before grinning wide again. "I accept your offer."


End file.
